the yin and yang

tomorrow I face a operatioing table for me something to be feared and ran from at every challange but when your time comes and you must lay down if you want the quality of your life be be better than it has been ,,,unfortuanlley bd.you must take this chance and jump into the dep end of th epool hoping for the experience toend in a sinerero you invision and will accept only that vision of the deed done and you more healthy , more active feeling the best you have n years with a promiss of many years to come of more and better and surprises.life a total JOY to live and share with thodr you love and care for...............this is my secret,,my rock

to be loved and know it

We have all heard and said how we wish we could know while we are live how those we know and love think of us . well. I am going in for a surgery on tuesday and from all the calls and e mails I go today..boy do I feel loved. undeservedly.but loved......none the less. I had a very profound piece to write here I remember it. get the lap top out and before I can get to the keys>>>>>>>>>>its gone..ugh I hate that..............But I will get to it I promise.............

here we go

this tuesday I go into the hospital . I have never been admitted into a hospital except to have 2 babies. I dont have a good feeling about going in. whenever I do anything it goes haywire in a weird and funny way. so I can see it coming. ugh......... well, there is a rain storm outside right now. thunder and lightning show. I 'd like to think its here for me . laws of attraction sent it to me........I have 2 grandchildren in my bed and I lay on the sofa cuddling with my husband this afternoon. my dog is cuddled up next to me ( hes afraid of the thunder but I'll take the loven...lol. I got to im with my son for a bit tonight and I hope to hold and hug my granddaughter tomorrow. tomorrow nihgt I will go on the web cam and talk to my 2 darlin grandbabies out in los angelos. the land of the lost to me. maybe Ill read them a book. my mother has been calling me every day on the phone and sent me an envelope with 9 1 cent stamps in it. no note. just the stamps. go figure.......thats my life and I love it. I love it all. I hope to finish my last draft of rainy days tomorow night . pack my stuff for the hospital and rehab. finish settig up my house to look a bit cleaned up and organized..why lie but thats what I want .. a clean up organized house. and maybe a will and living will too,,,,,,,,,,,lets get itall done.live or die

Life at 60

dont let them kid you , there is no life at 60. at 60 you become the lab rats for all the generations before you and after you. My husband was a strong healthy man . now he is a shell of the man he was and will be again. I am on my last leg. literally. I do not have much hope for this procedure. and neither of us want to lose what months we must give up to get better if we ever do get better,,.. like I SAID LAB RATS.and who tells lab rats the truth. I have to make out my will and my living will. plus decide once and for all which cell phone I prefer. the lotus or the touch screen. too much to do . too much to do

nn

heart ache

every night my heart ackes. I wonder sometimes if it is my medical history coming to get me.heart disease and stroke or if its my own heart acke over my family broken and gone from me on both sides of the country. this large country. now I face surgery wondering if I know more than the doctors know and this is not a good thing to do to be bu the beginning of a hurt I will not ever be able to fix once its done to me.....................surgury. how can it be elective if you did nt vote for it and you dont want it done to your body>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

what a week

jeff hangs himself. irv gets an epidural that makes all his nerve ending hurt. then he gets a bad cough which racks his body with pain every cough. my hip doesnt hurt but I am scheduled for hip replacement,jody has a massive stroke. is brain dead . its takes a week to sign all th papers to turn off her life support . my poor son in law must do the deed. today s her funeral. mothers day we felt ugh.dont ask..........cappy is so blind he walks into every wall and neds constant companionship.........I havent seen my parents in so long I cant recall the date and if I dont go before this surgery I wont See them for at least 3 to 6 more months...................the house work is too much for me to do. the laundry being in the basement is a never...........but other than that things are great.............

forgive me

this is sort of a resolution list. make beleive is new years eve. welll every day is the first day of the rest of your life isnt it.......so this is my new beginning.

no junk
eat low cholestrol menus
exercise a few minutes a day. maybe get that number up some year
write every day.
never tellm y family anything serious. they really dont want to hear it
tey really dont want to help with it. they really dont want to nurse me through it mental or physically.
so treat eac visit liek I did when I had to see my mother in law those few tmes a year we coud not get me out of it. There was ittle weoth fighting ove since I would not be seeing her for a while. it did not matter how she felt I should handle anything or I care how she handle somethig in her life as I was going to go my way in a few hurs and she would go hers............so......................who cares what was said. therefore why say it......................so this it will be once again. all we wil have is movies books , movie stars. w do not speak of religion or politics . too volital. we do not soeak of sports much either. but I could learn about that if it widened our scope.

my granddaughter

I have come to a realization. the reason grandparents get so so into their grandchildren and the Joy they bring to their lives is because the grandchildren come to us at a time in our lives when most of our children GROW UP. they no longer come to us , running with a hug and kiss. they dont look at us with unconditional love . they don't consider time spent with us to be a pleasure but a burden , a chore and a duty. grandchildren give that all back to us.................my granddaughter gave this to me but now she is a teenager and that time as past. luckily I have 2 others coming up the rear to love me , talk t me hug me, hold me. care what I think . care if I hurt. look forward to spending time with me........... but maybe this is a time we older adults should learn to let go like the animals in the wild. teach your cubs how to survive then leave them to make their own lives.................... Can I do that?????????? dont think so. Im the type would would love to buy a huge house on the water with roos enough for the entire family and for them to bring there children and friends. enough room for all. waltons , dan in real life........A home for the generations of family.

should I or should I not

I am beginning to feel I have rushed to judgement with this surgery I have planned for next week. maybe if I down a ton or two, Id feel the hip less and be able to put this surgery off for 10 years or so. So what if I cant go to myrtle beach for the winter. I was thinking of passing next year anyway..............I cant walk much or often. That only means I choose my reasons for walking more carefully.
DOes everyone think what if I dont wake up tomorrow>>>>>>>.what illnes will get me i think for me it wil e stroke or heart attc. and of the two I prefer the heart attack. I do not want to be a burden to my ids . mu husband will get so angry sure i brought it on myslef. I sure do not want to see that .no way..........

funerals

Happy mothers day.yeah right .do u ever get the point where you face an upcoming holiday even one made for you and you say to yourself.oh no...............I can remember as a child feeling depressed and alone when holidays arrived. they had nothing for me. I was alone . One a holiday I felt more alone if that is possible. then I grew up , got married , had a family and holidays became the fairy tale happy ending movie I always knew they could be. then..I dont know how, I dont know when. holidays became work. became something that would make me more tired than I already was.............. Well yesterday was mothers day. I was a lovely time at my daughters in laws. The other mother and I were a bit upset because our kids seen to care more for near strangers and freinds than for family. They think they are family minded but when irv was in the hospital......no visit and when she did, she counted the minutes. when his aunt was dying and his fahter would have liked his support at the hospital. he did not coe. for good reason.. they are so so overwhekmed by life but no matter now much life brings them down. if a frined calls in trouble or dying. they are johnny on the spot for marathon visits , wakes and meeting at the bar afterwards to soothetheir grief..................ugh...............................

mothers day 2009

Today was mothers days 2009 it began a bit dicy as we had the little one over while our daghter went abojut the final arrangement for the funral of a young lady who had a stroke .her lif upport has to be turned off and she had no next of kin so dennis and melanie as is Melanies way.jumped in as the heros taking on all the pain anguish and lack of sleep to see the deed done. unfortunatey those around dennis and Melnie had to rearrnge their lives too . My objection to thier commentment and the ojection of dennis family too is that this all could have been tken care of with much less fuss , stain and stress to all concerned.............you could take turns being their at the hospital , the funeral, even the wake. which you really do not need to attend.after wakes are for the benefit of those living left behind Since this poor girl has no one left behind. a short prayer hug wishing her peace in the here after would be enough..................This has long been an issue with me and many others not just me. family should come first. Not Friends. yes family can drive you crazy and often bea person you wish you never met. In those rare exceptions, do it. takeyourself away from that relationship forever. but for the normal bikering of daily life sibling rivalry et etc...they are still family . make a point to see them, interact with them and god forbid in the case of death or hospital stay..be there for them..............irv was in the hospital he did not get the visits or the caring these others got. irvs Mather died. melanies grandma . not the best of woman but you attend the funeral for those left behind. in this case melanies dad who needed the loving and the help to empty his mothers house. the huse he had shared with her for over 50 years.............come on kids. stop this is all about me........my generation ....have some manners, some caring............for those god saw fit to make your mother , your sister, your brother................always live close enough to see your family.. to share a sunday dinner...........to help out when someine is ill. show up with chicken soup. stay and watch a bit of t before you drive home. keep a lonely relative company once or twice a week,for an hour or two.........................family............if everyone did this for their family, friends who not be needed to step in where only family shoud be............

BEGINNING AND ENDING

IT AS BEEN A SAD CHAPTER FOR THIS FAMILY. FOR ME. PAIN WITH NO RELEIFE IN SIGHT. NOW I MUST TRUST TO A SGERY i DONT WANT AND DONT REALLY BELIEVE I NEED, A GOOD FRIEND DIED LAST WEEK BY HIS OWN HAND HIS WEEK A YOUJNG FREIND OF MY DAUGHTER HAD A STROKE BRAIN DEAD. SHE HAD NO FAMILY TO TURM OFF THE VENTILATOR . NO ONE TO GIVE HER A FUNERAL. SHE WAS ALONE IN THIS WORLD. SO MY SON IN LAW AND AND DAUGHTER COULD NOT TURN THEIR BACKS N HER. THEY SOENT EVERY MINUTE OF THIS ORDEAL AT THE HOSPITAL AND WILL CONTNUE TO BE THERE UNTIL THE BODY IS DROPPED INT HER RESTING PLACE. POOR KIDS. mY CHILDREN ALL OF FINANCIAL WOOS OF THEIR OWN. SO MASSAVE, IT WOULD BRING LESSER CHILDREN TO THEIR KNEES...BUT THEY DO WHAT THEY CAN AND SMILE FOR THIER CHILDREN THROUGH IT ALL. i fear more a stroke or heart attach. I am td I am now at high rish. I try to help myself but I cant shed th weight the meds keep on me..... I do all I can t keep a positve mind and soul and heart but when you see your children suffer, it can bring you to your knees. I do still harbor hope I will find way to brig money int my mitte family and give them some little base on which t rebuild their homes and dreams.................Its my deepest and only wish. even more thanmy own health and ear of death at this srgery, fear I may not heal well. pain has been my compainion for 35 years. I dread the idea od 35 more but I will gladly trade my health , my life if it helps my children t find contentment joy and happiness void of financial woe..........................This is my prayer.......... If I cant HAE MY CHILDREM BOTH HERE TO LOVE BY ME, SEE HE SUNDAYS FOR DINNER HOLIDYS ALWASY TOGETHER.........THERE IS NOTHING MORE i WANT OF THIS WORLD,,,,THE PAIN IN MY BODY TOGETHER WITH THE PAIN OF MY HEART CUT IN TWO ..ONE HALP IN CALIFORNIA..ONE HALF IN NEW YORK.ITS TOO TOO MUCH T BEAR..........

enough is enough

terrible terrible terrible...........this has been the worst time of our life,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,How do people manage through this river of pain???? I need the hip replaced.many of our friends homes in sc burned to the ground last week some vowed not to rebuild. move back from wenst they came.....sad...........terrible, terrible. our dear friend dead last week...a dear friend o my son in law stroked...brain dead,...needs plug pulled no family to do it....so sad. an old friend I don't see often lost s child to an anurisnin his 30's and her husband a week later to cancer, this is all in one week the same week................death is NOT taking a holiday................................it seems to be trying to fill a quota,,,,,irvs blood clot. dannika congectivitious and ear infections. i am done.............enough is enough...........truely.

mothers day wish list

a beach chair with an ottoman and an mbrella to sit by the pool.
shalamar
new deep pocketbook
games for cell phone
a couple new dvds
my house painted
a cruise..................................................

terrible.....sweet.good.bad

this has been quite a week in a series of quite a week. I have been scheduled for hip surgery. a very dear friend committed suicide. irv went in for a epidural shot . the next day he went down to his knees screaming in pain.he had a blood clot. it took me another 24 hours to gt him to go to the hospital to do whatever needed doing. he is still in the hospital. he comes home tomorrow. Poor guy. I went to the funeral today alone and the wake afterwards. then home to my dog who I think has had it. it may be time to put him to sleep. I have to come up with a decent manner of for all of us to say goodbye to him. especially for the kids. I saw today we feel deep grief so deep it nearly breaks us. But we have a power to feel the lost person in r hearts . Through that feeling , its as if they were not dead but somewhere away on a trip or vacation. They will come back. we will see them again. we dont mind not knowing when. the passing depth of grief is happy to give over to the illusion in our hearts. I am overwhelmed with my own depression. The only peace I find are in those moments I a tricking my own mind into thinking my parents are retrning to NY this week to live ot the rest of their lives. My son is going to surprise me on my doorsteep with his family in toe moving back home to NY with us to begin until he gets on his feet. I wil wake up tomorrow 50 pounds lighter. I will feel no pain every again . I will be able to run and dance and jump. Mostly I will be able to take long walks onthe beach with my darling husband. depression is an illness I feelwe all suffer from. whether we tak emedicatio for it or not. whether it was diagnosed or not. We all suffer from it and need to find ways to rise above it. methods to keep it at bay......... Life is too sweet. too magic and wonderful to be lost to a silent demon running chemically through our bodies assited by the outside forces of the negative sadness or money woos we suffer each day........... at the very least. call a friend or a family member. say hello. I love you. Share these small moments and the rest of your day will rise up to greet yu with happiness, joy . At the very least contentment. and there is alot to be said for being content...........

here I sit

I cant , I cant, cant stop thinking, what if I died tomorrow...............( or tonight( u know what I mean. What did I say to those I love today? usually not much. well, when they are in front of me I hug and kiss them and tell them I love them so much they pull out crosses and begin to chant " back , Back Back". I try to do as much as I can do as physically challenged as I am to show my feelings. actions do speak louder than words.yet, it still feels like.....................I didnt say all that needed saying...........things I wanted to do with them. I suppose I am not alone in that but I have never been one of those people who felt better when I heard that how I feel is shared by others.......................especially if it isnt something solved shared by other or not.........I prefer answers...........................................................Irv is out there. He sees then .

happy birthday little one

tomorrow is tax day. and dannika kaitlyns second birthday. this year will not be much of a celebration for her due to the economy but then what does a 2 years old need to feel special on her special day. how about a photo sitting and a happy meal. maybe pick out one toy at the toys r us shop........ hem home for dinner and an ice cream birthday cake with your grandmas and grandpas all there to sing happy birthday to you....Special enough I think.

Easter

the week that ended yesterday with easter was as froth with problems and situations as all the weeks had since the new year began. I had a car acident in sc. not a big deal I guess but a first for me so it was a big deal . we were so far from home and planning to drive back to ny the next day. would the car be able to make the trip. could we pack this little car. we are accustomed to m big van but wonder if in its advanced age it could make the trip. so much so much, so now I think maybe our winters n sc are at an end for . they are great for irv he golfs but I dont . if I cant sit on the beach or cant walk with Friends around town to pass time . there is no sense me being there.the day I drove to the train station to pick up Irving and one grandson after a trip to the museum, I saw a turkey run across the double road in front of my car. it barely missed me but immediately after a second turkey twice the size flew across the road at windshield level. I missed it. no damage to car or birds.but odd to see turkeys fly across the road. the next day, my daughter called to tel me her husband was waiting for the police . a turkey flew into his windshield and busted it all up,..not drivable. terrible to be sure...........................

youth

today I was thinking about that line ...............................youth is a state of mind..................I was looking at my 13 year old granddaughter. who has just come into her own.........she is so lovely. so lean and healthy. and it came to me............who are they kidding???????????????????? you are as young as you feel. that s the truth. and if you have some medical problem's especially the ones that last and last with little relief. you have have the heart o a lion and the joy of a child but you will feel terrible............You will be forced to work within the boundaries of your own body. That is always always pretty. Trust me. I feel old.older than any lady I know. and I know some damn old ladies....................you have any idea how depressing that can be. but I fight the depression DO you know why.........??? Because this is as good as it gets. every day. what you have is how it is. you can make the most of it or fall under the weight of it. its up to you......It isnt easy. The longer the struggle goes on, the more you want to just cry and rage again the unfairness of it all but that Will get you noting but more of the same and a worse day than you had yesterday because this day you don't even have you on your side. when that day comes, you have truly lost.......... if meds work get a doctor who apreicates your need for them and how often you nned them. if you need surgury , dont ut it off,,the older you get on that table the worse it the surgery may affect you. All this can be avoided............enjoy your limits and stretchen them a bit each day....you wil fel good about yourself. you wil smile and in that feeling good and smiling, your battered body will ower u even if only a bit and hel you grow along in a positive future you..............

MY DEATH

i HAVE BEEN IN SO MUCH pAIN i THINK OF THIS OFTEN. why is it against the law to build a funeral pyre for a loved one. you build them for a football game or a girl scoot jamboree but you cant send a soul u to the heaven outside in the air wind sun or rain?that makes no sense to me. I don wantbaggage you have me taking along for the ride............ to be in a coffin. I have nothing again coffins but I am going back to the earth and the universe from which I came. I refer to get back as easily as possible with out all that added . come om think about it. whats the harm. I am not tinking of doing it down main street eas fishkill or 5th avenue manhattan.so why cant I do it????????????????????I have my plans and I let them be known as I go ........................

I am back

I had erased all my journal entries in an effort to protect one of my family but now I don't think that necessary. I wont go into the details of the situation but I will say this.. a lesson you really must think about. put into your mind and save for the day a situation arises. Te day you feel there are little options to safeguard someone you love or the truth of the matter. when that day comes...........................remember........to say something aloud.......let the truth see light of day..you defuse the power of the devil trying to hurt you or your loved ones...........let the truth out......then it cant hurt you anymore.............I know I sound cryptic for someone who just said say it our loud but its not my truth to share..........I wanted to hide whatever clues I gave by deleting my journals..............now I can begin again.........................

live live live

when something goes wrong in our day, we tend to think damn , my day is wrecked. but it isn't. you had a Bad moment during your day, or maybe a bad couple hours............. or even if something monumental. This too shall pass....and it does. it always does.
I often wonder how I sound in these journals..........
I miss our son who lives out in los angelos so much I an Feel the pain. Wen I hear his children on the phone or see them on the web cam, I dont feel them closer but further from me.I cant touch them.......hold them..........see them.....................participate in their lives............

I am ill

I have not been writing any journal entries or republishing my old one with my stories for you to read because I have been ill or in pain all winter. We are in south carolina. the weather this winter here has been terrible. my husband was not at his best when we first arrived. our dog was just diagnosed with Diabetes. . it is the are of the dog that has made my being ill almost unbearable. he needs to go outside every 2 to 3 hours the most....... He went blind the first week we were here so we could not send him down to one of us or the other..........but he trusts us as follows our lead unconditionally. Such a good dog. right to the end...................No one is here to really help me. irv will do it.to point.................. I .need unconditional...........
so my jaw feels out of alignment..............my head hurt. I cant walk from here to well , anywhere with our pain I ca not bear anymore. my back which I was told gave me great pain most of y lie annnnnnnnnnnd didnt.now hurts.........other than the igh bood pressure and good only know the cholesterol Numbers....I AM JUST fiiiinneeeeeee AND DANNNNNNDY

To do whats right,
Often we must whats wrong
Not because it is wrong
But because it has been understood’
And what we do not understand we brand WRONG

I was happy to have a blog . It got me to stay on track keeping a journal but now that am concerned about being not found on the internet mostly for he sake of my family members. While I like most people crave attention, thre is sorts of attention that no one would call agreeable It is o avoid one such sort of attention that I go to this as my journal. I would love to contine t hand write a journal but m hands are aging. While my body is holding on n some ways, in others I am old before my time. My hands I believe are one of the victims of my age. I cant write with out pain I can hardly use the keyboard of a computer for very long for the same reason.
Things have no been good . Well, that’s not new is it. But when I give in to it, that’s not usualy now is it??
So where do I begin Irv is getting wore and worse at cring the blues. My mother used to call it cring in your beer but he doesn not drink beer.

Diane
Diane De Baun Barlin
There are things I do not want to add to my blog which is my real journal keeper these days so this will be for those days I feel I can not put something where just anyone can read it.. I am so so upset right now, I could just through myself over a cliff especially if the wind is blowing and its raining. It would feel like heaven. I want to go home I want tog home, I want to go home. Not that it woud make a dfferance if we were at home. Then Irv would RUN not walk to Mleanies to get doj. I want to be alone. I don’t even want him around if I can manage it . What I am saying is I don’t want to deal with anyone. ANYONE. No dealing.just let me do during a day…..a few days, a lot of days that I eel NEED doing or I want to do..Why is that so muc to ask of in your own life. A husband shoul not be someone making all yor days feel like you are on a world wind slave ship…go go go .do do do………Its not that there is not always something that needs doing at home but I would prefer to ace myself and live life a loooooooooooooottttttt slower than Irv s warp speed got to fill every minute hyper active nervous system. Well, I am overwhelmed of late. To say the least. I think this is the last year I will be coming to Los angelos. Michael Lee said California was a 5 year plan. I know he wants to come back east and had this 5 year plan but I don’t think he will be able to keep that lan .like all our hopes, reality has a way of creeping in and making changes for us especially in time lines…. I am upset. I am upset .Things are changing again and not for the better. I was thinking about people like Harrison ford today ( don’t ask me why he came to mind. I have no idea) and how he must go to bed at night and say to himself Life is good. And he has had a long to me to say it. like a mantra.. I can recall times I felt I had a lot to be grateful for . Life wa good as long as I kept a zen christian You don’t need things etc etc to be happy bull shit attitude. I don’t have I today…….. I haven’t had it for a while. Even before I got home from sc. We are here in los angelos in this little apartment with my son, daughter in law and 2 grandchildren.

catch up

It has not been the best time we have ever had here in sc. maybe even the worst time. Not that myrtle beach has any of the blame. The weather as been terrible, cappy a gone blind with his diabetes,. My hip has been hurting since december. it got worse here in sc..............I like to suffer alone in my room. That is difficult to do here were is like living in a gold fish bowl with 1000 other fish. So I havent much to entertain myself with in this journal.
So here we are in sc taken turs on being at deaths door. first the dog, than me than itv then round and round we go sometimes all of us at once...........its has begun to really depress me but as always , right before hit rock bottom,I get angry and rise up again.not far but far enough to surve another day or so...ugh
well Irv is down with a cold but beginning to feel on the up side of it. I am over my cold . my hi, migraine and leg pain is still overwhelming but my depression has lifted. thats good news. I am not the sort of person to enjoy depression...................... got to rise above it..........so tomorrow the Sun should return and maybe smiles will accompany her............

Kings Row... The Card Game ...Instructions to Play

The deal:
first person deals 15 cards to each player.the hand
second person going clockwise deals the 11 cards.the foot
the third person goes first when you play the and.
then on next deal the person who dealt the foot deals the hand. the 15cards
person to her left deals the foot - 11 cards.
person to left of the person who dealt the foot goes first this hand
and so on around the table each hand. going clockwise being sure everyone gets to deal a hand and go first..................................




Set Up.

5 or 6 decks of cards are used for 4 or 6 players. either is acceptable.
you use every card in the deck including the jokers.


The object of the game is to get a meld of 7 cards of the following:

Sevens (7)
Wild Cards ( 2's and Jokers)
Clean ( 7 cards of the same number)
Dirty (7 cards of the same number but with a maximum of 3 wild cards)

The above is a Kings Row
and the points are:
Seven (7) = 1,500 points
Wild Cards = 1,000 points
Clean = 500 points
Dirty = 300 points


Any extra complete melds ( 7 cards) of the above receive the same number of points per meld.


How to begin
The deal to begin the game
15 cards go into your hand
The second set of cards ( your foot) consists of 11 cards
first person deals the hand (15 cards)
second person deals the foot (11 cards)
third person goes first taking 2 cards from the card pile.
you then play what cards you can . If any. Discard one card.

On the next deal you begin with the person who dealt the foot. this time that player deals the hand and the person to the players left deals the foot while the player to the left o the foot dealer goes first. this is how it proceeds.



You play a total of 4 games in each set
The first game starts at 50 point
The second game starts at 75 points
The third game starts at 125 points
The fourth game starts at 150 points.

In order to lay cards down either you or your partner has to have sets of 3 cards of the same number totaling 50 points minimum. Then you both build the melds to get to 7 points. When you reach 7 cards you have a complete meld towards King's Row.


you may lay down your red 3 at any time during your turn. even if you have not lay down your open bid.

In order to pick up your foot you must close a meld.

To go out and finish the game , you must have a complete King's Row and be down to your last card to discard. Then you are out.

Additional Rules:

Red 3's are worth 100 points. PLUS you draw an additional card. every time you draw a red 3.
Black 3's are worth noting and are a good discard . They freeze the discard deck.

Card Value:

A's and 2's are worth 20 points
10's through the king are worth 10 points
4's through 9's are worth 5 points
Jokers are worth 50 points.
Going out is worth 100 points
Red threes are worth 100 points each.


If you run out of cards in your hand or have no discard but your team has not finished building your kings row, you continue to play until you do get a discard after a completion of kings row,,,,,,,this could in some cases be everyone playing with no cards in their hands picking and trying to end a kings row and discard.


enjoy the game but if you have any questions you can forward them to me and I will ask all the experts I know how best to answer you.........e mail me at mailto:tmoonday720@aol.com but in subject box write regarding kings row...have fun.........

IF YOU HAVE any questions, e mail me at moonda720@aol.com. in subject line make note this e mail is regarding kings row

jan 12 the truth will out

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. MY LEG AND HIP ARE KILLING ME. ITS BEEN GETTING WORSE SINCE THE KIDS CAME TO NY.. Not to mention I havent had a shot in my back or neck for over 6 week so I AM RUNNING ON PURE WILL POWER RIGHT NOW.caps lock keeps locking grrrrrrrrr. Irvs stay in the hospital was very dramatic and painful for him and for me. him for what he ad to suffer under doctors care and me for what I had to suffer trying to stay mobile getting to and from the hospital each and every day until the day I got to take him home.........We stayed in ny until after irv got the ok from his heart doctor and the neorologist . we drove down here in one day..........with cappy , our sick old dog.................................We could not pack as much as we would have liked to pack due to bringing a car this trip and not the van. cappys needs took up ar more space in the car them we had to spare but u do what you must dont you. irv felt great driving his sports like car out on the highway for 12 hours.......................I packed smart. not right but smart. SO if we could nto carry the stuff up to the condo we could bring it up one a day forever. I had what I needed in the first bags I carried up . after that it did not matter/so naturally, he carried everything up that night after traveling for 13 hours.............ugh. hes not human......................

Its a little on the cool side here in sc but thats fine to me...... and I like the rain......I havent left like listening to irvs none stop chatter story telling his tale of woe.........they are never happ stories anymore. alwasy woe. price of gas, the lights left on that cost money ..................on and on and on and on................

january 2009

Jan 2009.................jan 11 we went to my daughters house in a snow storm to spend our last day with michael lee and family before they returned to the los angelos.(may it sink into the ocean so my kids come back to ny).........there was only one car in the drive way. my daughters in laws car but I dont know it on sight. it could have been Laura visiting or any other friend. I barely know my own car on sight. I walked in the door to a huge SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there was family and friends most who had braved a terrible snow storm outside that showed no sign of stopping.......... family I had not seen in awhile because of various reasons that kept us apart even though we were so close in spirit............. it was a magical day. the snow falling outside was like drops of magic sprinkles from the sky/
Hugs, kisses, lot of love and laughter......... this was not a day for me full of drunk like highs.it was a pure feeling of happiness , contentment..........joy. the most zen happiness I have ever had..unless you count those moments when you r new baby is asleep in your arms while your husband is snoring beside you in a warm house with the cold and rain outside. you and yours inside where nothings can harm you........it was a golden day. in a life of many silver and garnet days...............

the next day I dove my son and his family tot he airport .back to their little apartment in burbank california ............with ever mile closer to the airport, the hole in my heart grew bigger ,deeper and wider.

WOW......... WHAT A MONTH

2009 arrived with my yin and yang belief in life proven to the max. We had our 2 children here in NY for the holidays . Michael lee stayed until Jan 11 to be here for my 60th birthday. or at least, as close to it as he could get with a job and family to support back in California. It was so so wonderful to watch all 5 grandchildren running around playing together. I am not really a fan of marathon visits. you push yourself, your health.everything. not to waste a minute. live every minute to the max sounds like a real great way to exist but thats just what it is. it is no less existing than doing nothing at all ............... life needs to have balance to judge its moments ............
WELL, WE VISITED AND ATE AND PAYED. I DONT REMEMber US GOING ANYWHERE. hanging out together was all the fun and activity we wanted to do. except for my daughter and daughter in law once they got christmas money.then they wanted to shop .......lol I remember those days....
christmas eve we went to my brothers house. it was so so much fun. my sister has a new man in her lie.well, hes been in it for awhile but this was our first christmas eve together . He is wonderful. All my brothers children were there. only my parents were missing but I really believe, that by next christmas eve, it wont hurt us as much anymore. None of us. It was their choice not to try and be with us at least once a year............ SO the anger we have over the decision is turning into.................... numbness. Good I guess. new years eve Irv and I made very very last minute plans to spend it with old old friends. Then we went to their home where their daughter was waiting to say ho to us with her new beautiful daughter. gigi and I bonded right away.I adore her as if she was my own. just like her mother. we watched mama mia and the ball drop in NYC. we drank champagne....... bad storm outside........love and friendship in side........cappy has been ill ..................we were afraid we might lose him. he is over 12 years old. Irv has had trouble breathing.........and my hip and or leg pain had reached the point I was blind with it night and day........... ugh. Not a great beginning to the new year. but we had so so much to be happy about..........I tried to hold on to that thought but it was not as easy as in years past............
I love my family ....kids, grandkids, sister brother, in laws, neices and nephews.........

home again home again. dippidy doooooooo

Irving , my husband had a real heart scare. he has not been breathing well since the summer. short of breathe after stars, carrying the grandkids, playing with the babies.............real concern. he had all the tests done to man but they all came back negative for any help in finding a cause...........a friend from the beach...actual he lives near our home in NY but we never see them except in myrtle beach.............. boy we miss being there right now. anyway, he went in for a test that lead to a stint that ed to a scare ...........He is home now but he isnt really breathing correctly yet.so while it is good they found underlining problems, we may still be on the search for the reason he has lose of breathe..........I have to get all m ducks in a row.

resolutions

new years resolutions begin for most of us on january 1 of a new year but having a birthday so early in January, I have always used my birthday Jan 12 as my new years day. So with it 2 days away, I have decided to begin my list. think carefully so I do not emba
rrass myself not fulfilling the damn thing.................lol
Fitst i mean to gt healty even if it does mean surgery...ugh
second I mean to sing every day . to remind me of life and the joy in it.third I mean to write every day but books and stories I may sell or put on stage. every day one hour ar least
I am notorious for ha
fiFi1um ber one is to accept Irving or he child he is. I married him for his loving childlike peppy I mu personality and


now those say attributes are runing me into the grave. I have to let him be him and learn to manage around it,
2aing every day, to remind me to love live
3 lose weight that I now beleive in adding to my medical problems.
40 to 50 lbs.
4 go on 2 trips one to carribeanwith he entire family and one to europe.
5
wish and ask my angels for assistance to get my sons famiy bach here to me...............please darlins I need this . they need this........

Come Home NOWWWWWWWWWW!!!

I want my son to come back to NY...........I want him to bring his family here where we can help him . Where we can see the kids more often and have some influence in their lives........If he doesn't come home some day in the near future, I wont be able to go on. I REALLY WONT. I DID NT CALL OR SPEAK MUCH TO HIM FOR OVER 3 MONTHS BECAUSE I WOULD NT THINK OF ANY ThING TO SAY THAT WOULD NT LEAD TO A CONFRONTATION REGARDING HS CHOICE TO STAY IN CA.He is not doing any better out there than he could be doing here in NY. I think he is doing worse than he could be doing here. He could achieve everything he hopes to achieve right here with us helping him get out more often to attain it. they cant even go out for a dinner as a couple unless someone comes across the country on a trip and watches the kids while they visit. that's obsurd. its not necessary in their case.

New Beginnings jan 12, 2009

I had deleted all my journals in an attempt to safe guard my granddaughter from something that could have hurt her life forever. But in the past few months things have changed. as in all things. things are ever changing. Shy {we wil use her nickname} knows the truth of her life and is handing it so well. better than some adults I know who faced much the same thing. I am so so proud of her maturity and her comfort in the fact that those people around her now who have been around her love her deeply , truly and forever..........So I can go back to my journal keeping.
I urn 60 in 2 days. but I move like a woman of 80. I look like my father at 83. I try not to let it defeat me. but in my defense, this time of year I usually go into a depression, grand funk that lasts about the month long. I have read it is a very usual thing but I believe for me it is a nuclear blow up because of the fact my birthday Christmas and Hanukkah etc etc etc are all wrapped up in it..ugh I will survive.
Life does not get harder and harder as you get older. sure the medical problems may escalate as the years go on but the reason we all feel like get harder is because its the same problems , the same weights on our shoulders and our minds. we manage to work through them but we don't really solve them or get rid of them so therefore. we face them over and over again as the year go on and that my dears is what gets harder........facing the same troubles over and over again. If you come to terms with the yin and yang of yor own personal life. those things that are in your life and will remain in your life until the day you pass on, you will be better equipped to flow through it rather that hit it like a brick wall. over and over again. your siblings, your mother in law. who yor mother loves best. who your boss advanced over you............on and on and on.........So whenever you can , wipe the slate clean and begin again.............it doesn't matter how many times you begin again. it matters that you did not give up and DID begin again. each time, you will find you have something less on your plate to deal with. something that doesn't see quite as important as it did before.Something that life took are of for you. Something so much more troubling that to worry or fret over this or that other thing seems so silly and wasteful. Actually the truth is.it is..................you life and then you dy. who yo spoke with . who loved you or didn't like you. who got that promotion or new car................next to a grave......none of it seems important. you could have been hugging a child or singing a song. but you were battling something that could not be changed and did not really matter in the end...........at the grave, no one thinks of anything except if the person was loved or a good person. Did you take up space or matter in someones life?????????????????